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TAL: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Between Hole 8 and Hole 9

My golf game is the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Each Wednesday evening I play a round of golf, and each Wednesday evening the outcome is about the same.  Sometimes I wonder why I keep playing.  Often I wonder why I'm not better until I realize I never, ever, ever, practice, never.

Act One:  Salted Nut Roll
I play at Hiawatha, and since we show up each Wednesday, the employees know us.  As I drove in to the parking lot tonight, M waved a big wave at me.  Actually, something about M is a bit creepy, but I think he's harmless.  As I was on the second hole, I was feeling disappointed that I didn't buy a Salted Nut Roll while I was in the clubhouse.  Due to last year's flooding, there are only nine holes and no beverage cart.  M was the ranger guy and appeared as I was thinking about a Salted Nut Roll.  "Hey, M, will you go to the clubhouse and get me a Salted Nut Roll?" I asked as I waved him over. "Here, let me go get some money,"  I continued.  He waved me off and appeared a hole later with a Salted Nut Roll.  It pays to be nice to guys who are a bit on the creepy side.  A free Salted Nut Roll is not a bad thing.

Act Two:  Nature
Playing golf is as much about being outside as anything.  Often I get distracted by nature while on the golf course.  For example, tonight I had already hit the ball four times on a par three hole when I saw a mama duck with her babies behind the green going in and out of the trees.  Instead of humiliating myself any farther, I picked up my ball and gawked at the ducks.  I'm not proud of this, but it happened.  Sometimes I suck, and I don't care to suck anymore.  At least I have some wildlife to watch.  One time when I was golfing at Theodore Wirth, I watched a fox carry a duck in his/her mouth directly in front of my tee box.  I blamed my horrible play for the rest of the round on the fox incident.

Act Three:  Clubs
Basically, I would like to say I suck because my clubs are super old.  In reality, my clubs are at least twenty years old and perhaps older.  All of my clubs with the exception of my driver.  One of the guys I play golf with bought a new driver two or three years ago and gifted me his old driver.  It's my favorite club.  Actually, my favorite tee box is on hole two.  I often drive before I should because I know I typically hit it well from this tee and leave my pink ball at the feet of the guy golfers in front of me.  Today I had a few fairly amazing drives which is why I keep playing.  My fairway woods are not useable.  They've been broken for two to three years.  I've tried them a couple of times this year, but they really don't work.  My putter works most of the time, but it tends to work better when I use one hand instead of two.  Finally, my irons are hit and miss.  If I stick with the 3, 5, 7, and 9, I'm fine.  The others don't work that well.  Perhaps I should go to the golf course with six clubs and leave the others at home.  Since I walk and carry my clubs, it would make my bag lighter.  It's an idea.



Comments

LH said…
Perhaps you should buy all new clubs.
I think that would probably be best.
7:47 AM
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