St. Louis Cardinals

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The Abominable Baseball Bat

by X. J. Kennedy

I swung and swung at empty air
And when I heard the umpire
Behind me shout, "Strike three - you're out!"
My bat turned to a vampire.

The whole team had to pry it loose.
Poor Ump looked sorta flat.
Now ever since, my bat and I
Walk every time we bat.

I hate the St. Louis Cardinals. I wish I was a better person, but alas, I am not a better person. Wikipedia says that they suck and people should dislike them (but maybe not hate). Actually that is not true, Wikipedia says, "The Cardinals have won 11 World Series championships, the most of any National League team, and second overall only to the New York Yankees, who have won 27." Yep, I can't think of a time when I would cheer for either team. Maybe I should have a better attitude about the Yankees, the Cardinals, and yesterday's conferences, but I don't. All three SUCK. As I anticipated, conferences were a colossal waste of time. Please don't be worried about my mental state. I feel better now that I have used the words hate, dislike, and suck in my post. Did you notice how even the poem was pessimistic? My hope is that this is the end of negativity for today. Enjoy!

Today I am thankful for...
1) finishing 25 baseball blog posts (23 major league and 2 minor league)
2) strawberry malts (wish I could have one for breakfast)
3) generous colleagues who bring me a 44oz fountain Diet Pepsi as conferences are about to commence

Comments

LH said…

I had a feeling you were going to be right about those conferences.

I think you should give the Cards another chance. They were a neat team to watch last year.

8:17 PM

StreibProjects said…

Ha ha ha Love this post. I have too many friends that are Cardinals friends to hate them, plus I always have to cheer for the NL during the World Series.

9:37 AM

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