"I am still every age that I have been. Because I was once a child, I am always a child. Because I was once a searching adolescence, given to moods and ecstasies, these are still part of me, and always will be. Because I was once a rebellious student, there is and always will be in me the student crying out for reform... I can retain a child's awareness and joy, and be fifty-one, then I will really learn what it means to be grownup. I still have a long way to go."
~Madeleine L'Engle in A Circle of Quiet
Yesterday was my birthday. Unlike most people, I hate my birthday. I really dislike that extra circle around the sun. Often I find it overwhelming and depressing. In fact at twenty-five I had a major meltdown and experienced a week of depression and feeling sorry for myself. It hasn't really gotten any easier since that day. Of course each year my birthday comes without my having any control over it. Although I appreciate people's kindness, it's a day that I dread for weeks ahead wishing I could stay in bed with the covers over my head until it is over. When the actual day passes without any fanfare, I am pleased.
When I read the above passage by Madeleine L'Engle, I realized that although I am not fifty-one, I have her same spirit. I don't need an age attached to who I am or another birthday celebrated (or not celebrated). My existence is a compilation of all my experiences not to be marked by years.
~Madeleine L'Engle in A Circle of Quiet
Yesterday was my birthday. Unlike most people, I hate my birthday. I really dislike that extra circle around the sun. Often I find it overwhelming and depressing. In fact at twenty-five I had a major meltdown and experienced a week of depression and feeling sorry for myself. It hasn't really gotten any easier since that day. Of course each year my birthday comes without my having any control over it. Although I appreciate people's kindness, it's a day that I dread for weeks ahead wishing I could stay in bed with the covers over my head until it is over. When the actual day passes without any fanfare, I am pleased.
When I read the above passage by Madeleine L'Engle, I realized that although I am not fifty-one, I have her same spirit. I don't need an age attached to who I am or another birthday celebrated (or not celebrated). My existence is a compilation of all my experiences not to be marked by years.
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